Another Priceless Day

I am beginning to notice a recurring theme of patience weaving itself throughout my blog posts.  For sure, living in the moment is one of the great lessons of this adventure, and now that I think of it, it's probably one of the lessons we will learn from our new kids.  Like so much of life, there is a temptation to wish our way right through this time we are spending in Ukraine.  We just want to fast-forward to a successful court verdict, through the waiting period, through immigration processing, and move right to the part of the story where Lera and Vitalik gracefully enter OUR world. 

With God's help, soon, they will indeed be entering our world.  They will have to learn about our customs, our language, our culture, our music, our fashions, our everything.  How dare we rush through this precious time in which the tables are turned, and we are having the privilege of struggling to live in their world for a little while?


Last night as we were going to sleep, we thought about what today would hold.  More of the same - visiting at the orphanage.  Then somehow, it occurred to us just how few days like this we will have in our entire lives, and just how precious each one of them is.  These intense, exhausting, exhillerating, unpredictable days of visiting with our new kids on their home turf are just so special.  What a privilege it is to hang out with Lera, Vitalik, and their friends in their environment, playing their games and doing our best to speak their language.  We went into today with that attitude, and I have to say, it was just awesome.

Again, we were there with no translator, and it's just not a big deal any more.  I think that as much as our learning Russian, or their learning English, there is this awesome reality that we are all just learning one another.  We can communicate with Vitalik and Lera, but their friends don't always understand us.  Basically, we tell them what we want to say using a combination of our Russian and their English and then they can communicate to their friends using actual Russian.  It's hillarious and fun, and the beautiful thing is that we are all gaining confidence with one another.

Today, for the first time, Vitalik invited us to hang out in his room.  We were so glad, because seeing their rooms had kind of been something we wanted to do, but we weren't sure we were allowed to go there.  After a brief time in the lobby, Vitalik said in English, "We go my room, ok?"  He led us all, including a few friends, up the stairs, down the hall, and into the room he shares with all of the boys in his class.  The room is bright and cheery, with tons of windows and natural light and many healthy plants that would all die if they came to my house.  There were about 20 neat little beds all lined up, but I don't know that all of them are occupied.  He led us to his bed, smoothed the covers, and offered us a seat. 

He jokingly explained that his bed is strategically located so that he he can punch is good friend in the head if the need should arise. :o)  We shared chocolates that Eugene had given to Lera and me in celebration of International Women's Day, one of the major holidays in Ukraine, similar to Valentines day, in which all girls and women get flowers, candy, and gifts.  The many kids watched a Spiderman movie on Eugene's i-pad. 

Vitalik and Eugene engaged in a friendly sparring match using their best attempts at boxing, karate, and sumo wrestling!  It was so fun to watch, and I was so glad that watcing was my job.  Eugene, on the other hand, got a serious workout.  :o)  They laughed and punched and sweated and had a great time until they were both completely tired.  (Ya Oostal!)   

The driver came up after awhile and hung out a little bit.  He seemed to be explaining to the kids a little bit about when they would be picked up for court tomorrow (our hearing is at 11am).  We didn't understand the exact dialog at all of course, but it was clear that they were discussing something about going to court tomorrow.  Then it was time for the kids to have lunch, and for us to go home.  As we all left the room, Vitalik looked at me, pointed to himself, and said with a nod, "Viatliy Michael Cline."  I smiled and agreed, "Yes, good!"  and we went downstairs where, again, they easily managed to negotiate a ride to the cafeteria.  We hugged and said our goodbyes, "Da Zavtra!"  (until tomorrow) and came back to the apartment. 

For our lunch, Eugene insisted that we walk three blocks in the sub-freezing snowing windy day and try our hand at ordering lunch in a restaurant.  We were a bit of a sideshow for the locals, but dog-gone-it, we did it and it was fun.  We hung out eating the mysterious foods we had managed to acquire and relaxed and discussed the special time we had just enjoyed at the orphanage.  It was indeed another very special day. 

So tomorrow we go to court.  When Eugene asked our facilitator if there was anything we needed to do in preparation, his advice was simple.  "Relax and pray."  We agreed that this was great advice, so that is our strategy.  We really don't know if we'll get a verdict tomorrow, but more than anything, we just pray that sometime soon we can bring the kids home with us.  Also, we pray that they will not find the experience traumatic tomorrow.  Their whole lives hang in the balance and they are totally powerless. 

On some level, I'm scared to death, but as we've covered before, fear is not from God.  Throughout this adventure, I have found myself really appreciating a great little diddy I remember from early Veggie Tales.  It provides me with some comfort as I go to sleep tonight.  It goes like this:

God is bigger than the Boogie Man.
He's bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger than the Boogie Man
And I know that he's watching over me.

May it be so.

40 hours travel time - well worth the trip!! :o)

We left our home in Cary at 11am local time on Saturday, and to make a long story short, we arrived in Simferopol this Monday morning at 9am Ukraine time (2am EST).  Upon getting off the train, we said hello to our driver who speaks no Engilsh, but is very easy to chat with, as he cheerfully tolerates our horrible Russian.  We had no translator today, so the driver called our facilitator (who is still in Kyiv, and will arrive on Wednesday morning just in time for court) to find out if it was time for us to go to the orphanage.  The routine for these next couple of days goes like this.  The facilitator is in Kyiv, and is the only one who speaks both languages, and he is calling all of the shots.  When we aren't sure what to do next, the driver calls him, they speak in Russian on the phone, then the driver hands the phone to Eugene, and he gets the story in English.  All-in-all, it works just fine. 

Sadly, our first phone call of the day was not good.  Eugene learned that Vitalik was not at the orphanage, but was in the "hospital".  He was told that we would not be able to see Vitalik until we picked him up on Wednesday morning before court.  The facilitator thought that he might have had an upper respiratory infection.  We were not as surprised as you might think.  We had learned through the grapevine of other folks who visited the orphanage in the past couple of weeks that both Lera and Vitalik (who were both perfectly healthy) had spent at least one week in the hospital for what seemed to be a routine checkup (don't ask me why a check-up takes a week!)  We were really sad to hear that Vitalik had actually gotten sick and was still there!  We tried to adjust our thinking to this new plan and got ready to visit with Lera.  Our first visit today was very nice - Lera ran to greet us and gave us huge hugs!  She looked at photos and we practiced a little English/Russian using flashcards on Eugene's I-pad.  After about one hour, it was time for us to leave. 

Lera loves to use the camera to take pictures of herself, and to pose for her friends who enjoy playing photographer. 
This was one of my favorites from today's photo shoot. :o)

Somehow in the conversations we had with Lera and the driver on our first visit, the driver ended up calling the facilitator again and asking a few more questions about whether we could see Vitalik.  We did not ask him to call, but we were so glad he did!  This conversation somehow prompted our facilitator to do a little more digging about Vitalik's condition, and somehow, miraculously, Vitalik was back at the orphanage (healthy as a horse) before our next visit at 4pm!  This is just an example of how things turn on a dime and we really never have a clue what is going on! 

We were just delighted to see him of course, and he seemed very happy to see us too - he could not explain why he had been in the hospital for 2 weeks.  Eugene asked him if he had gotten any shots and he said no, but indicated that he had gotten his finger pricked (not once, but twice!)  ...  He did laugh when the driver suggested that he was just taking a nice break from school and having a good rest.  Honestly, it seems to me that nobody ever tells these kids anything - they never know what is coming next, and they just roll with whatever each day brings.  Throughout the next 2 hours, we had an awesome visit with both Vitalik and Lera (the driver and several friends hung out with us.  Vitalik tossed a ball with Eugene (and by "tossed" i mean "threw the HECK out of")... it is really interesting to watch a teenaged boy test his strength against a man.  This is one example of a time that a woman is simply not capable of filling the role.  They had an awesome time throwing this ball back and forth with as much strength as either of them could muster, and it was really fun to watch.  The kids all climbed on various monkey bars and trees for a few good photo ops.  It was FREEZING cold outside, and the kids all want to take off their coats.  They are good Ukrainians and are much tougher in the cold than we wimpy Americans, I think! 



SOOOO thankful he is out of the hospital - how crazy!!



Look Ma, no Head!  Lera took this photo - I'm thinking, "Us-to-rozhno, Vitalik!" (be careful!)



Later, back indoors, we played cards and various computer games, ate cookies and candy, and just had a very fun time.  Midway through our visit, Vitalik asked "Zavtra, what oclock?" (what time will we visit tomorrow?)  Eugene told him that the facilitator was the boss, and Vitalik joked, "I boss."   As we left, without us having a clue what was going on, Vitalik and Lera ran ahead of us and got into the car.  They had conned the driver (who adores all of the kids there) to give them a ride for the approximately 300 yards from the dorm to the cafeteria.  While in the car, they all spoke more Russian and as usual, we were lost.  While we waited, the driver called the facilitator and after they talked, he handed the phone to Eugene.  The message was this, "They want you to come at 11am tomorrow, is this okay?"  Eugene agreed, and I just had to laugh because it seems that in this case, Vitalik was indeed the boss!  ;-) 

During the past 24 hours, there have been multiple long walks in very cold weather.  Our muscles ache and we just keep drinking hot tea.  Our bodies are exhausted, but our hearts are at peace (at least, I think they are).

So our facilitator will meet us only an hour before court on Wednesday.  We spent a few relaxed hours with him in Kyiv before hopping on the train.   He gave us a 2 hour walking tour of Kyiv (it was truly a pleasure, although the weather was a challenge - a sunny but windy 0 degrees Celcius!)  We were glad for history lesson, the exercise, and we were extremely glad for the warm soup and tea that we shared afterward.  After dinner, he spent a few minutes preparing us for our court date.  It seems that there are a few items about which the court could request additional supporting information that we would need additional days to obtain.  It seems that it will not be surprising if we are not able to get a verdict on this "first court date" and we might actually need a second one, which we would hope would be only a day or two later.  Essentially, we have done everything we can do to prepare for this, and all that we can do now is pray and wait.  So we are asking for lots of prayers.  First and foremost, our prayer is that sometime soon, we will be able to bring the kids home.  If it takes more than one court date, we will try to take that in stride... of course, our strong preference will be to get a YES on WEDNESDAY after only one court date - but we will try hard to trust God's timing. 

Trip 2-of-3 ... Leaving Tomorrow!

After weeks and weeks of waiting, we have been assigned a court date of Wednesday, March 9th at 11am.  We learned this about 10 days ago, and just knowing that we have a court date has made it a lot easier to breathe.  Eugene and I leave around 11am tomorrow morning (Saturday) and will begin the 2 day process of getting to Simferopol, Ukraine.  We expect (and hope!) that we will be able to see Vitalik and Lera for a day or two before court, and maybe one day after court, then we will begin the 2-day return trip.  The plan is that this trip will last just over one week.

Every region in Ukraine is different, and in Crimea, where our kids are, as we have been learning, everything seems to take more time!  We have had the blessing of following another local family who have just adopted from the same orphanage and their court date lasted 2 hours and was extremely serious.  There will be a judge, a jury, and a prosecutor whose job it is to try to prove that we are unfit parents.  Doesn't that sound like fun!? 

Thankfully, we are told that the burden of proof is on them -- that by just getting to this point, it is assumed that we ARE fit parents, so as much as possible, we are supposed to sit still, be quiet, and answer questions directly in as few words as possible.  This is not my strength, but in this case, I will sure try hard!

It seems like it's been forever since we arrived home from our first trip, though it has actually been just a little over a month.  For about the first week at home, I was really really scared about court.  It is an amazing thing that after all that we've been through in the past six months, the entire adoption could all fall apart in one day if something goes wrong.  Of course, this is NOT a good way to think!  I had to remind myself that fear is not one of the fruits of the Spirit... in short, fear is not from God.  In order to get past this fear, I just had to remember the chain of miraculous events last summer that led us so quickly to total clarity about adopting Lera and Vitalik.  The events of this past August were humbling, amazing, and just plain a God thing.  I decided many weeks ago that if God can make all of the crazy things happen in the way that they did for our new kids to even BE on the trip to America in the first place... and then for us to be at the park and hear about them, and for all of the sparks that were flying to just affirm and affirm that this was God's plan for us, why in the WORLD would I worry that God can't get us through a couple of hours in a Crimean court room!? 

So, for several weeks now, I've not felt afraid about court, though I'm sure it will be really intense, and when it gets here, I hope I'll just be able to breathe!  I imagine that it will be really scary too for Vitalik and Lera.  It is my prayer that as we prepare for, and live through our court date, all of us will feel at peace and will just be able to do our best.  Most of all, obviously, I just pray for a good verdict, so that after another waiting period, we can return to begin the 2-3 week process of bringing the kids home for good! 

Tonight, Eugene and I took the boys to the airport where we had the privilege of joining in the celebration as we welcomed the first of this summer's kids home for good!  David Yaroslav (formerly Yarik) is 13, and has just left the same orphanage that we will be heading to tomorrow.   

It is hard to describe how his arrival tonight has provided such a gift of encouragement to our spirits as we set off tomorrow on the next leg of our adventure!  We had just seen David kickin' around the orphanage with his pals during our last trip to Ukraine, and now he is home with his new family just a mile or two away from our house!  It's like, wow - this can really happen!  It was such a blessing to be there tonight to see his new family and friends celebrate his arrival!  We hope and pray (and even, dare I say - expect!) that it will not be long before David joins the crowd of family and friends who will form the welcoming party as we arrive home with Vitalik and Lera!  Please God, may it be so!!

Patience, Grasshopper...

It has been 23 days since we last saw Vitalik and Lera.  For about the last 2 weeks, we have been expecting that any day we will hear our court date and set in motion the flurry of activity that will be required to quickly purchase tickets, prepare for my sister and niece to move back into our house, and head to Ukraine for our adoption proceedings.  I have joked that throughout the entire adoption process, I keep hearing Tom Petty singing in my head...  The Waiting is the Hardest Part... at least, we certainly hope that it is!

Late last week, we learned that there has been another document that our handler in Ukraine has been waiting for before he can request our court date.  We had previously thought all papers were in, so this must have been a request from the court for something additional.  We don't understand exactly what this is, but we trust that he knows what he is doing and is taking care of it.  It seems that he expects to receive this document today and will be able to call and get our court date.  So again this Monday morning, we wake up thinking, "We REALLY expect to hear our court date today or tomorrow."  

Throughout this process, we have been asking for prayers for sanity, and all-in-all I think we are managing pretty well.  I recently heard someone say that adoption is not for wimps!  It's just stressful, no matter how you slice it, and on some level, we won't be able to really exhale until all five of our children are under one roof.  Still, we are doing our best to experience this part of our journey as a great lesson in patience.  We are TRYING to just enjoy the blessings of each day while we wait, trusting that whenever our court date finally comes, the timing will be exactly as it is supposed to be.

We were recently asked whether this is more or less difficult than a biological pregnancy.  It is a really interesting question, and I am sure that anyone who has been through both processes will have their own opinions.  For Eugene, this is unquestionably more difficult!  I (who never loved being pregnant) think the processes are both difficult (and rich and beautiful) just in different ways. 

Our adoption timeline of maybe 7-8 months seems remarkably short compared with pregnancy, and certainly compared with many adoption timelines that many people experience.  As such, it sometimes feels a little silly feeling so impatient.  Still, we have realized that the timeline is a little different when waiting to adopt teenagers who totally understand what is going on, and who are growing up on the other side of the world while we wait.  In some ways, we already grieve the years of their childhoods that we have missed, and that they have missed having a family.  Recently, something made me have the poignant realization that I will never be able to pick these kids up and swing them around in a circle or hold them upside-down by their ankles and tickle their tummies.  I mean, I know this is obvious, but realizing that those opportunities have already been missed just made me grieve a little bit.  Of course, the important thing is that, beginning very soon, we WILL be there to love and support them for the rest of our lives, and I know it is going to be awesome!  I guess my point is that every day counts, and the sooner we get to begin being their parents, the happier we will be.

What's in a Name?

Well, yesterday was our last day to visit the orphanage before we return in a few weeks for our court date.  We visited as usual, except that this time we were in Lera's classroom instead of Vitalik's.



The first few days, Lera was holding our hands and they would both cheerfully interact with us as we walked down the stairs to leave after each visit... and now THIS!  I think that they will make GREAT American teenagers!!  I have to laugh at my love-sick self, because even from this angle, I find them both just breath-takingly gorgeous!  

 I was kind of nervous the whole time knowing that at the end of the visit, we would be telling the kids what "new names" we have selected for them.  It is just such an odd thing to be telling a teenager what their new name will be.  Anyone who has had the privilege of naming a child knows the special energy that goes into this exercise.  It is almost sacred.  But of course, most of us name our children when they are babies, and we don't have to worry what our children will think of the names we have carefully selected for them. 

Thankfully, our translator was here for this visit, so with his help, we told the kids about their names.  Before we began, they started having a discussion with the translator, and he cheerfully talked back and forth with them for several sentences while Eugene and I stood listening, lost as usual.  Then he smiled cunningly and explained, "They asked, 'Can we keep at least part of our names?' and I teased them, saying, 'Oh, you need to have veryAmerican names.' ..."   ACK - don't tease them!  And so we began.

I put my hand on each of their heads respectively and said, "Vitalik" and "Lera"... "Good Names" ... so that they wouldn't have to worry about that part any more.  And then with the translator's help, I told each of them the rest of the story.

LERA ANNE
Lera First... I think that you know that my mother's name is Laura.  My grandmother was named Anne; she was very special.  All of my life, I thought that I would have a daughter named "Laura Anne" ... but we never had a "Laura Anne" ... and now, God has given us "Lera Anne" instead ... this is even better.  She offered to be Larua, and we said, "no, Lera is a beautiful name.  We love your name."  The translator then explained to her that there are a couple of specific sounds that don't translate exactly into English.  So with the best English translation, Lera will rhyme with "Sarah" ... which will be a little different than the Russian pronunciation than she is used to, but she seemed pleased. 

VITALIY MICHAEL
Now for Vitaliy (Vitalik is actually a nickname for Vitaliy).
I have been researching your name - Vitaliy.  It comes from the Latin word, "Vitalis" meaning, "Full of Life."  There could be no better name for you, because you are definitely full of life!  There is a light that shines in you.  You are very special.  (In English, we have several words which originate from the same Latin root - Vitamin, Vital, and best of all, Vitality!)   Michael is Eugene's middle name also.  It is common for the oldest son to share a part of the father's name.  We did not do this with Spencer, because it just did not feel right to us.  Now we understand that Spencer was not to be our oldest son.  It is very right for you to have this name.  Vitalik responded as he often does, saying in English, "I understand." (note for inquiring minds:  Vitalik is pronounced with short i sounds and the a says ahhh.  so it's vi-TAHL-ik)

Then I said, "okay?  good?"  and they both replied in the affirmative.
I also gave them both little notes with their new names written in Russian and English in both printing and cursive, so that they can practice writing them.  It was kind of serious, and then Lera burst out laughing saying awkwardly over and over, "Lera EHNN!"  with the "anne" sounding kind of like an injured animal!  The name sounds hillarious for a girl who is accustomed to Russian female names with many syllables and generally ending in an elegant "a" sound.  It made me laugh too, which was kind of a relief.

We posed for a few pictures and then said goodbye.  The mood was kind of serious, but none of us cried, which I was glad of.  We will be back in a few weeks afterall.  Honestly, I'm not sure which is harder for them... that we are leaving now or that they will soon be leaving for America.  It is definitely what they want and they are excited about it.  Still, it will not be easy for them at all.  Their whole life has been here, and in many ways it's been a good life.  Their teachers, their counselors, their friends have been their family... and then, of course, they will have to learn a new language and a new culture.  Leaving with us will ultimately be a great blessing, but it will come at a great cost to them.  They are both very brave, and very resilliant, and they will have a loving family and community to help them get through the pains of transition.

In the car, I felt really relieved to have those steps behind us.  Whew!  We took the 15-hr train back and really enjoyed a good night's sleep in our car.  Now we are in our Kyiv apartment and will leave tomorrow  before the sun comes up.  We will return home late Sunday night. 

Thankfully, it seems that all has gone very well with the snafu (parental right termination doc correction) that delayed our process.  Our best guess is that we will be home for 2 weeks and will then return for court.

Another Day, Another Set-Back

Aye Aye Aye!! 
It has been funny... well maybe not funny, but it has been something!  There has literally been a challenge or crisis of one sort every day since we arrived, and honestly, since before that!  I've been leaving most of them out of the blog, because, well, it's more fun to write about the good stuff.  But, with each of these, the problem seemed really big and very upsetting at first, and then by the next day, we were pretty much over it.  If I went back and listed them now, many of them would just seem plain silly, so I won't even strain my brain to remember them.

Yesterday's setback was kind of a big one.  We learned that it may take longer than we had hoped to correct the mistakes in the parental rights revocation from many years ago (finding that mistake had been the previous day's bad news).  Our facilitator told us that at this point, our court date is likely to be approximately 3-4 weeks from now.  Keeping in mind that we had hoped to have our court date and fly home about one week from now, this is a real extention to the timeline.  As such, we have decided to begin the trip home tomorrow night (Leaving Simferopol Friday at 8am and arriving at RDU on Sunday or Monday night... it's a long and complicated trip! 

At first I was really sad because I definitely want to spend more time with Vitalik and Lera!  Thinking of leaving made me want to cry!  Now that we've had time to re-think the plan, we are convinced that this setback has led to a far-better overall plan, and we are feeling good about it.  The new plan is complicated, difficult, and expensive, but at this point, what the heck! ;-)

As I said, we will go ahead and travel home this weekend, leaving after our visit with the kids tomorrow.  We expect to be at home for 2-3 weeks before returning for our court date.  The court-date trip will be "quick" - staying in region only a couple of days... which, with travel time, will make that trip about a week.  Then back home for another week during the 10-day waiting period.  Then finally, (this is the good part) we have decided that we will BOTH come back for the trip to bring the kids home.  We will pick them up from the orphanage, bring them to our apartment in Ukraine, and run around together chasing papers for 10 days or so before coming home.  Our guess is that we will finally arrive home sometime in March, though exactly when is sketchy. 

I have talked this plan over with everyone at home, and everyone seems to like it.  Again, having an amazing extended family and supportive community is a major factor in equipping us for this fantastic adventure.

We spent another 2 hours at the orphanage without a translator today and had a great time.  I am actually coming to understand the crazy Ukrainian cardgame called, "The Fool"... mainly thanks to a good explanation that Eugene found online.  A highlight today was that our driver wasn't busy, so he agreed to come up with us to Vitalik's classroom and play cards with us.  He stayed for at least half an hour - at first a group of 4, and eventually, just Vitalik and the driver (a very jovial Ukrainian man of maybe 50 years old).  They were the two really competitive ones, and were both really fast at this game, so it was really fun to study their technique while they played several games mano-y-mano.  I am not sure which of them enjoyed it more, but they both seemed to be having a great time!  Later, Vitalik and I played several games 1:1 and he said "You understand good!" :o)  I wouldn't go that far, but definitely making progress!!

Lera is learning to charm her father.  At the end of the visit, he had already put away the i-touch and she wanted to use it to watch a movie while we waited for the driver to return.  He tried to say no, but she kept asking and eventually, he really put his foot down, saying, "Skazee puzhalsta." (say please), and then after she sweetly complied, he gave in.  Yeah, I think she's gonna have her way around our house! ;-)

At the end of our visit, with the help of the driver and the orphanage social worker, we let the kids know that tomorrow will be our last visit for this trip, and that we will be back in about 4 weeks or so.  They both looked like they will be a little sorry for this particular party to end, and I could not agree more. 

More of the Same

What a group of goof-offs!

Ok, a little better... Lera's rapper pose I guess!

Vitalik is very silly!

More of the same, plus we got to meet Vitalik's teacher who seems to love him, even though she admitted that he does talk too much sometimes. :o)